Realising that you love someone and are falling more and more in love with that person is the most terrifying but most exciting thing that can ever happen and has ever happened to me. Falling in love is like a roller coaster which is completely out of your control. One minute it is this big dream and next, reality.
Now I am definitely not a person who would say they believed in love at first sight and I must have picked the toughest nut to crack but boy was it worth it. Never did I think that someone could make me feel so much genuine happiness in my life. Every girl has their dream boy in mind and that is exactly what I have found.
At first it was a relationship that I could never see happening. He worked with me and there was a 5 year age gap. He was extremely shy and held back (the most shy person I have ever come across) and at first he was just a friend who I had no interest in romantically. As I slowly got to know him (with my very abrupt questioning and probably scary confidence) I realised that this guy was actually someone very interesting and there was something that kept me wanting to know more.
Having never been in a relationship before, I had no idea what I was supposed to do with those feelings and how I was supposed to cope with them.
He was just so different from anybody I had met in my entire life. You almost had to prize information out of him. He was like a closed book that I just wanted to open and read every single page. This was all so new and exciting and slowly as the weeks went by working we got so comfortable with each other and it felt like we had known each other forever.
First date (didn’t call it that at the time) was a classic trip to an arcade. Perfect chance for us both to be childish and have some fun. It ended with a dominos pizza and milkshake on the way home. I remember coming home that evening beaming from ear to ear and being so excited. I still have the yoyo that I won in the arcade that day. From then on I knew he was the one..
The moment I realised that this wasn’t just a fling and that I truly loved him was when everything suddenly seemed to feel right. After months of dates and getting to know each other all the pieces of the puzzle felt like they had slotted together perfectly. Suddenly, a day when I haven’t spoken to him feels weird and I find myself worrying about him more than I worry about myself. Suddenly everything that was once I, becomes us and we and being together feels only natural. Suddenly I felt at peace, at ease and truly happy.
The safe feeling I get when I hold his hand and the warmth in my heart I feel when he kisses me. He is the first thing that pops into my mind in the morning and the thing that I go to sleep thinking about at night. I can’t imagine life without him.
Our little road trips to different places with music blaring and me singing (like a dying rat he would say). Our cute walks on the beach and my favourite thing to do is snuggle up and watch a film!!
When I fell ill at the beginning of the year and had to spend a good few months in bed resting was when it really shone through about how much he cared about me. Spent all of his free time laying with me and making sure I was okay. Watching film after film and thinking about me before himself. He would just be sat there as I was falling asleep constantly. It must have been such a boring time for him but he did it for me. Now that I am having to hold back a year he has been completely supportive and helped me hold it together when I’ve found it hard to cope with not seeing my friends very often.
A recent trip away for the weekend gave me a proper feel of what it is like as just the 2 of us and made me feel so happy. I still wasn’t feeling the greatest but a weekend of beach walks, cuddles and TV was just what I needed.
I feel so lucky and privileged to have someone like him in my life and I just want him to know that I would do absolutely anything for him. I know I can be the most frustrating human in the whole world but somehow he manages to deal with that. We never argue and I always feel like I can trust him with the world. I just want him to know that I am so grateful that he is part of my life and I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with him.
Love you to infinity and beyond.
Anyways, I’m off.